My Little Diary (From 24th May Until 31st December, 2010)

Note: Sometimes, instead of publishing a post, I wrote some short record of what I'm doing or what I'm thinking. By the end of the year, I publish the whole short records as one post. I think it's good way to contemplate.

24th May, 2010: I took a nap which wasn't really a nap coz it was too much for a nap. I slept for 5 hours and a half. A cup of coffee helped me opened my eyes at 7 p.m. I went to the hospital before that to ask for sleeping pills (my last option to fix my sleeping pattern) but they were closed for afternoon break. I really need a quick fix, as I need to prepare myself for the Umrah this June 5th. May Allah help me prepare well for it. Amin, Ya Rabbi.

25th May, 2010: I managed to wake up at the same time as I did for the last few days even though I slept at 4 a.m. last night. Mom and sister took turn to wake me up every 5 minutes, yet they were not really forcing me to open my eyes as they knew I've always had trouble sleeping. Alhamdulillah, I don't feel weary despite my lack-of-quality sleep. I must focus on preparing for the umrah. 10 days more to go before departure. I should summarize the book for mom as well. She must be having trouble understanding the complicated steps and stages. Nisa, ganbatte kudasai!

26th May, 2010: I lost my diary post for this date. Thanks to Realplayer Installer for telling me to close my browser window all at once.

28th May, 2010: I have not much time left. It's ok, Nisa. Half bread is better than nothing at all. Must finish the umrah book! No more House, no more Guardian, no more CSI! Oprah..Oprah?? Absolutely.....NO!

31th May, 2010: My head feels heavy. Must be the sleeping pill. I only took half but that's enough to knock me down. I couldn't even move from the bed. Asked my sister to bring up stair something for me to drink as I can't get it myself. I hope...today would be a better day. Ameen.

27th June, 2010: I came back from Mecca more than a week ago (17th June, thursday). Maybe due to lack of sleep during my approximately 14-hours flight, I had fever and flu for about a week. Coughing and sneezing most of the time. As an anti-painkillers and anti-hazardous-chemicals (oh, really? I guess that means sleeping pills are traditional herbs), I refused to meet doctors or take panadols. I prescribed myself several Vitamin C tablets, more water, some honey and lots of rest.....which FAILED.

10th July, 2010: I came back to campus last Monday. Friends gave me a shock look when they first saw me. The whole week, I tried to deal with any thing necessary & important. So that I can focus well on classes later on, rather than to let myself be bothered with unrelated stuffs. It would only increase my stress level if not taken care of early. I accompanied my foreigner friends to hospitals to do medical tests as well. Even though they sometimes insist that they can go on their own (coz they can speak Malay language quite well), I will accompany them whenever I can. As a local, I know things that will hasten processes and there are things that can hamper as well. Today I could rest for a short while as offices are not opened. Time to do something relaxing before straining my mind again on Monday.

18th July, 2010: I didn't know about dengue fever 'season' until my friend got sick with high fever and doctor reminded to run blood test if she is still feverish on the third day. I knew I would be going to the clinic afterward as my immune system has been very low since I was a child. And I knew I would be doing the blood test as I've never recovered in less than 3 days. What I call as normal is a week or two. My biggest worry now is making my friends burdened. I don't want that to happen. Hope that, miraculously, the fever be gone by tonight or tomorrow morning. May Allah fulfill this prayer...amin.

13th September, 2010: Today is 4th Syawal. For some reason, I'm being different this year. I didn't really care about buying new clothes. Yes, I don't wear much baju kurung or baju kebaya during normal days, but for previous Eid, I would still buy new one. This year, something makes me care less about it. It seems that something else is distracting my attention. My mind is preoccupied.

8th October, 2010: I like to watch the gold fishes swimming (in the blog!). I like to feed them too. This is better for me, I think. I'm not good at keeping alive fishes. I remember while I was in UTM, I killed several small, cute fishes during my final exam period. They died not because they had no food to eat but because there were too much food too eat (and I didn't clean the little tank...hehe). These lovely golden guys in my blog? They die hard. No more worries! And lots of thanks to our princess from Secret Rhapsody, I kidnapped these fishes from her blog. Hehe..

 21st October, 2010: This week is the 14th week. I have papers on 26th October, 1st, 2nd and 12th November. Getting treatment once every two weeks seem not to help me much, not like it usually did. I add more treatment sessions to my schedule. This semester, I'm less stressed when it comes to my academic stuffs. Good for my health, bad for the grades. I hope sister would understand that my health condition isn't as good as previous semesters. My current focus now is to get my health improve. I risked my health many times before to get Psychology major as well as to get scholarship. Now, it is time to get better.

22nd October, 2010: Today, I was asking my friends about a gadget/ application which requires flashplayer plugin. I want to put images in my blog but I don't want them to take too much space or make me feel dizzy looking at too much visuals and colours. As a strong visual learner with sensitive visual perception, I appreciate orderliness at great length and this application seems to be specially designed for people like me. Besides this thing, something else also caught my attention while I was investigating this new gadget. It's an emerging issue when speaking of mass communication. Mobility. How to develop mobile friendly sites. The course "Introduction to Mass Communication" which I took during my first semester help me understand this issue at one glimpse. As I learn more, I'm looking at the world with a brand new, different perception everyday. Switching from engineering course to psychology really transforms my mind.

22nd November, 2010: Wahh...it has been exactly a month since the last time I updated my little diary here. I remember having my first final exam paper on October, 26th and the last one on November, 12th. On November, 15th I went back to my hometown. 17th was Eiduladha. Then I get back to campus on 18th. 19th, I started tutoring until now. While other students are enjoying their holiday at home, I enjoy it here, in campus. Allah sent several friends to me to help me enhance my English grammar. Before I can tutor them English grammar, I have to study and understand it in depth. Back to last few semesters, while my room mates were struggling in their language preparation classes, they'll occasionally came to me to ask questions, thinking that I'm very good with English (they were shocked I don't even know what 'noun' is!). After all these years, my memory seemed not to be able to register the meaning of these grammar terms well. Ironically, since I was little, my late father had always been stressing on grammar when it came to English. But the truth is, I hate grammar!

28th November, 2010: Tired. It' s really easy to just stop doing things and surrender.

10th December, 2010: I'm in the middle of registering subjects for this new semester. I should only register as minimal as possible; I need to focus on getting my health better (which includes starting the out-of-campus Islamic classes) and put more focus on tutoring English (which is intended to make sure my close friends stay here). I try to take varying subjects; psychological, Islamic, logic & general stuffs. It doesn't make me feel good when I only learn human science subjects without something which strongly requires logic thinking. It doesn't make me feel good either when I only study something which is so logic without being human; humans are, many times, illogical!

31st December, 2010: Today is the last day for year 2010. I feel like it's still a fresh new year. Time is running really quick these days, unlike when I was a child. During those old days, one week was such a long time for me to go through. Talking about time reminds me of the Big Judgment Day (Yaumul Akhirah). I should be using my time more wisely. It's a scarce, very limited source given by Allah s.w.t. It should be used only for important purpose of life. May year 2011 becomes a better, great year for all of us. Lets change ourselves for the ultimately BETTER. Amin, Ya Rabbi!