I'm Sorry For Not Being Healthy Enough

Assalamualaikum...


I woke up earlier than usual today as I was able to sleep early last night. Yesterday, I went out since morning and got home only when it was almost Maghrib, around 7 p.m.

My brother was accepted to Kolej Matrikulasi Perak, Gopeng.

A 3-hours journey from sister's house to the college was enough to exhaust me.
Being able to move around, to keep my mind alert and responsive that much for that long was such a great 'success' for me.

This blog keeps my mind working. Important for me to avoid losing it.

'Use it or lose it'.

I keep on thinking about writing something technical or something new to myself. Like tethering the cell phone with the computer or Cleopatra's history. I can do neither, now.

To tether, I will need to do some experimentation on my own, read here and there, try this and that, which is not possible now. I can't think much.

To write about Cleopatra, I will need to refer some articles on the internet and recall some of her stories I already knew. Also not possible. I can't think much.

I can't do much.

This is the reason why I have to take study leave again and again.

It's not always I can do the cognitive process. When such time comes, even to tidy up my room can be so stressing and challenging. Things which are usually taken for granted by others become intensifying tasks for me. Require great effort.

I told my sister, if she sees my stuffs cluttered, it means I'm really sick. Don't bother to chat with me.

The very first thing I would do when I feel a bit better is to organize my stuffs, especially the one I regularly use.

The only cognitive process I would maintain when I'm too ill to do anything else is to put my things in place.

If I can't do that single easy chore, it means I'm in a higher level of pain. Don't bother to say hi to me.

Don't try to make my mind work harder than it can. Most probably I will only look at you or at most, give a very short reply. If you are a stranger and you don't know about my condition, I would probably just nod and smile to you when you try to be friendly.

Forgive me in advance, for being sick and less charming.